WSORG ARTICLE WRITTEN 8.21.02- "A Day in the Life of James III"

A Day in the Life of James (Music: DJ Gryl's Freestyle Club Attack 2: Track 11, Feeling: Inspired)  1:17P.M.: Aiiya, I didn't even start my summer reading yet- and I have to do both Honours and AP reading! Well pink monkey will help out with that. So my thoughts today? Well one thing for sure is that I shouldn't have slept so late. I usually go to bed at 1-3am and get up around 12p.m. (in the summer that is.) and that really wastes my day. The good side is that I have great dreams. No none of that hardcore whatever stuff- I can vividly picture and live through them and even remember them when I wake up! I'm not going to bore you with the details of any of my dreams anyhow. Hmm, yeah so today I just corrected some scripts and that was it. I'm at a complete loss with the August Moon Narration. I got to Part III although now, I have nothing more to write. And I'm in between the ideas of polishing it up or leaving it as a Anne Lamott's "shitty first draft." There are a lot of great ideas there though I think I'm missing the focus. Anything publishable has to have that right? Also, even supposing there wasn't a time limit- I have to finish this before Henry does something. You know, writing is all that I have to- how should I put this- connect to a certain crowd to get a certain girl. Actually, ok I have other things (and other vague nouns) - but this is what everyone's interested about these days. Otherwise, I'd be just a random kid. Damn this is hard... This narration has taken me over three days, the longest ever. On the inspiration scale, I'd have to give it a 9/10 - contrary to the Mystical Night narration whereupon I could just pour my heart out. This, however, isn't about her entirely. And that makes it fresh; less scandalous, and has more focus on the other things in life. Allright then, so new theme. Another problem is that I can't remember most of the names that day. Well we'll see where this ends up. Might be an okay thing, or it will be a great thing. Hey, I kind of like this xanga/journal thing here in the news section. It's better than keeping my views all bottled up in my head. That's another thing I do- this is why I have trouble sleeping. It's not the caffeine or anything else. I just take around 2-3 hours sometimes to make up speeches in my head, try to make up quotes, or plan out wolfyserver. You know the best invention would be this device that takes your thoughts and puts it in print. It would save a whole lot of time and we'd find the answer to life- if there is one- much quicker. Lalala, now it's 1:17p.m.- I skipped breakfast and had cheerios without milk for lunch. Funny how I'm not picky about food anymore. Oh yeah and here's an update on my journey into getting jacked up. I am progressing rather quickly. I just need to work on triceps and do some shrugs to strengthen my shoulders. What else... so I'm getting that cell phone this weekend- no more procrastinating. I have it all planned out: Final Fantasy VIII or X victory theme song for my ring, and then mod the hell out of it with shiny lights and the like. Wait! Here's another random thought: I've noticed how when I was in third grade and later on in elementary school- I really had a hard time with my journal entries. Sometimes we'd do these free writes early in the morning. I'd always write about the weekend and how I did nothing but read and play video games. Now, it seems that I have everything to write about. I can even make my shower sound interesting and riveting, explain how buying a Nike visor tested the friendship of a multi-serving friend, and so on so forth. And I'd really like to get this out: Andrew was right. I am just using her for inspiration. It's true. With other girls, I'd simply click with them: have fun playing volleyball, making jokes, or acting goofy. On the other hand; in this case, it seems one way street. Maybe I was wrong all along. Was it merely an attraction? Now I have yet another word to add to my 'moot list' in my vocabulary: attraction, infatuation, obsession, affection, love, et cetera. If attraction is just as dangerous and treacherous, what is infatuation and affection then? Such topics boggle the mind. At any rate, back to the matter at hand. She seems a bit, well, boring. What is inspiring are my efforts I suppose. It's not to say her personality is entirely wearisome; rather, it's oblique and unfounded. I bet if I got to knew her better, than the true love would come. Though, what if I do get her? What would I do then? Without a doubt, I'd be full of ideas.. well that is thinking too much ahead. I'd like it more if it was spontaneous- not planned out and then executed to provisions. E.g., lending a pen to someone and then there is the contravention of each others' fingers on anything but the pen. And it's just for a few seconds before these gushy apologies. Maybe I think too much, like Leon said, about "Hollywood movie shit." Even so, if I do or don't win her over- the game is over. Where would my ideas come from? Such a situation would be really dull. Nah, allright I know now- I can write about the two possible outcomes: defeat and being trounced (and being a pessimistic individual?) or- joy and happiness? I don't know much about that though I could never write dark poetry or about miserable things. I can't keep this up forever you know? I only have less than two years left. Geez, the problem with me is that I plan out too far ahead (my parents would probably wish that I did this for many other things...)- I'm thinking about spending our lives together- marriage, kids and beyond. I don't know many people at this age who would think of that. Well, Andrew would. I asked him sincerely if he was going all the way. And he responded: No, I don't believe in sex before marriage. I told him: "You ass, I'm talking about marriage." So he would marry Mingjian. Good for them; I hope I get to be the best man! Then again, you know some people only find true love when they're forty or even fifty. Exampli gratia: Richard Gere and Julia Roberts- Ok they were two movies but well written in any case... And can we really find true love? My perspective has changed in the past few months from love at first sight to you can find anyone. I can't remember who I heard this from; we laughed at it somewhat and exaggerated its deepness... "every girl you see has one quality that no other has and you like that. so you find true love..." Great, now I forgot the rest of that sentence. The most important part too! So I'm reading Derek's essay now on his "true love." It's not as stirring or detailed as the one I wrote at camp- though, I have to admit, his sounds more genuine. Ok, yeah I know the one I wrote was another Mystical Night narration since our assignment was to narrate something that affected our lives. I thought, hey I already wrote it so easy assignment. It wasn't easy at all since I already wrote about it- I was all out of ideas. The result? I think it was just an insult to prelude and to my writing. So in his essay, there's an anecdote of how he hid these feelings for a girl named Rachel at his swimming practice. After the years, he finally confronted her, and let me bring up the quote so the emotions reflect accurately. By the way the title is "Keeping the Silence." Kind of generic if I may say so...maybe "Enjoy the Silence?" Well: "3, 2, 1 ... The pool's front entrance opened. Rachel stepped out with her bags and tossed them beside me. My eyes fell back to the open page as she smiled and waved. She sat down and looked into the street awaiting the arrival of her father. My stomach quivered as I looked at her one last time. 'You know you're very pretty,' I said. She looked at me with a puzzled face, 'Huh?' [see how clueless girls are? -James] 'I've admired you for about the last year, but I've never told you,' I mumbled, eyes shifting from her face to the ground. [I really like the "shifting" repetition in here] Just then, my mother exited the pool with my brother. I picked up my bag and slowly walked to the car. For the last three years I have not spoken to her. In fact, she stopped talking to me. Although this memory lies in the back of my head, Rachel's impact remains fresh and stolid. I realized that if I had listened to my mother, at least I would be speaking to Rachel. Whenever I see Rachel in the hallways of the Brookline Public High School, I always laugh and smile. [wtf, oh I see, in his heart...heh- be really weird to laugh out loud in the hallways to the girl who broke your heart huh?] My mom was right this time. Perhaps I give my mother less credit than she deserves." OK, so his motif here is listening to his mother's advice. Perhaps Mrs. Yee (who's very hospitable) has had similar experiences with boys and such, that she would know. In my opinion, it's not Derek's fault here. That girl was just another bitch right? I mean, so he got up all his courage and actually said it to her (something I'd die before doing). And she, basically ruined the moment with a "Huh?" And never talked to him again. Youch, see that's what I'm troubled about. Then again, in Yao's case- after he confessed- the girl talked to him even more and more- or he says... You never know. Yao's kind of an egoiste though a good friend- heh, ok I'll save that for later. Well it's 2P.M. now and I have nothing else to do so would you like to read Derek's essay? You're gonna read it anyways, hah: (Aiiya, I type & talk too much) Ok, just as a note: Derek wrote this while sitting next to me and after we got like talking about Prelude. So some things here share resemblance. And pay careful attention- there's some subtle humor and great lines here. Btw, Derek is Asian (not Azn yet) and his mother is a bit like all Asian mothers- study study study study!

Keeping the Silence [Enjoy the Silence]

     Rachel was the first and only girl that I was truly attracted to. She was there the first day I entered the Tappan Street public pool. The large building contained three large pools and two diving boards. I would practice five to six days a week and she would always be present. I talked to her at the pool back then when we were younger. Now, I hardly dare glance at her. Times change.

     I had no experience  in expressing my private thoughts to anyone. Rachel was on my mind all day, every day and I could not tell her how I wished to walk with her, to talk to her, and to hold her hand. It took me much courage to speak to her. And since I saw her five days a week, I had to use a lot of courage. However, when I spoke to her, things went well. I would ask her formal questions; for example: how school was, what she did that day, and how fast she would swim the following set. She would respond with an answer; a smile, a laugh and some questions for me. I would tentatively listen to every word and memorize her every facial feature. How I did adore that smile. After practice I would sit outside on a rock bench and complete arduous homework assignments while Rachel would hide amongst friends. My only restriction was my mother. "No thinking about girls yet!" She warned. I feared the thought of my mother discovering that I admired a girl. It was already too late and I paid no heed to her advice.

     About a year after I began thinking about Rachel; one incident changed everything between us. Earlier that day, a persuasive friend of mine convinced me to reveal my affection for Rachel. Swimming practice ended and time crept closer. "Tell her!" Echoed in my head. Then the thoughts of my mother's words caught me. "They will distract you from your work!" The echoes battled each other. The pros and cons, the right and wrong. What would I do if Rachel laughed? How would I live with the shame chained to my ankles like massive weights? I hastily dressed up and left the locker room. I opened the door to the bleachers and the wet musty chlorine infested my nostrils. I sat on the bleachers and pondered the future action of events. Peer pressure, peer pressure, and more peer pressure. Then came my mother's warning. The hinges absent with oil screamed as I pushed open the doors. With an artificial, and apathetic visage, I walked out of the building and tossed my swimming bag onto the rock bench just outside the entrance. The cool breeze of the dark night enveloped me in doubt. I wiped my sweaty palms on my dark baggy pants. Quickly glancing at my watch, the time read "6:15." Another five minutes and she would come out of the locker room. In that time I pulled out my English homework and began reading. Nonetheless, I had to constantly wipe the sweat from my palms. How would I tell her anyway? I lifted my eyes from the page and checked my watch. Too late. 3, 2, 1 ...

     The pool's front entrance opened. Rachel stepped out with her bags and tossed them beside me. My eyes fell back to the open page as she smiled and waved. She sat down and looked into the street awaiting the arrival of her father. My stomach quivered as I looked at her one last time.

     "You know you're very pretty," I said.

     She looked at me with a puzzled face, "Huh?"

    "I've admired you for about the last year, but I've never told you," I mumbled, eyes shifting from her face to the ground. Just then, my mother exited the pool with my brother. I picked up my bag and slowly walked to the car.

    For the last three years I have not spoken to her. In fact, she stopped talking to me. Although this memory lies in the back of my head, Rachel's impact remains fresh and stolid. I realized that if I had listened to my mother, at least I would be speaking to Rachel. Whenever I see Rachel in the hallways of the Brookline Public High School, I always laugh and smile. My mom was right this time. Perhaps I give my mother less credit than she deserves.

Very nice, see how I said this sounded genuine? In fact, it is just so. Derek thinks he's bad at writing though this proves he is pretty good right? Looks that that course really did help him. And this was in all probability hard for him since it was his first time writing about love, etc. Hah, he even tries to write poems now. Great influence I am right? Well for all you girls who read wolfyserver news: Derek's email and contact is in the 'contacts section!' Well I think this about does it for today's a day in the life of James huh? I think I set a new record for how long a day's news is. Doing word count right now... 21.940: so including prelude's writings and faqs, tutorials- the sum would be around 31,000+ words. Not bad.. I guess I'll get to the August Moon Festival narration right now... and like rub ice on my hands.  *Update: I finally finished the first draft to August Moon! Yay! 9:53P.M. now. I'll get Andrew to read it and help me with revision two later.